Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Say 'LIQUID EYELINER!!!'

I am terribly ashamed of myself! I have had this little online spot here for nearly a month and I have yet to give the Patron Saint of Trash his due. How could I have done this?!? John Waters is a God. Without his one-of-kind and perfect forays into exquisite cinematic trash, things would just not be the same on this sad, sad Planet...

One of my absolute and most favorite films of all-time is the glorious and delirious masterpiece known as 'Female Trouble'. I am sure you have seen and loved this fantastic film. Isn't it time you re-visited this unparalleled Masterwork of celluloid TrashArt?



There are so many incredible moments in this amazing film. Revolutionary space-age cosmetics were explored. This includes the ever-popular mainlineable cosmetic known Liquid Eyeliner...




And who could possibly forget Dinner at the Davenports...



There are so many more unforgettable and classic moments in this fantastic film. I could go on and on, but if I did you may be less inclined to experience 'Female Trouble' in it's entirety. And like all great works of Art, it should be experienced that way...

Troll 2 is Bringing Sexy Back!

If you have never had the pleasure of witnessing the incredible wretchedness that is 'Troll 2', you are truly missing out. 'Troll 2' is undoubtedly one of the worst films ever made. It goes beyond the deepest depths of anything you could possibly imagine. This film is so terrible that it has become infamous and legendary amongst connoisseurs of the worst life has to offer- it's Cult is increasing with momentum and magnitude. If you don't believe me, visit the official 'Troll 2- Best Worst Movie FanSite'. But before you even think about going there, please revel in the awesomeness of the video below- this should give you an indication of exactly how terrible this film is...



'Troll 2' has quite a cinematic pedigree. It was directed by EuroTrash legend Claudio Fragasso under a pseudonym (this film turned out so bad that the man responsible for such immortal films as: 'Rats- Nights of Terror', 'Hell of The Living Dead', 'Monster Dog', and 'Women's Prison Massacre', wanted his name removed from the credits). The cosutme design (have you seen these 'Trolls'?)


was undertaken by none other than EuroTrash Sex Goddess, Laura Gemser- yes, that Laura, the infamous Emanuelle from the incredible sleaze epic 'Emanuelle In America' (notorious for real horse masturbation and some of the most realistic snuff scenes ever filmed), and the equally as lovely 'Black Emmanuelle' series...


I could go on for literally hours as to the seemingly infinite number of reasons why this is one of the most atrocious films ever committed to celluloid. Usually when a film has '2' after the title, that means it is a sequel. However in this case, 'Troll 2' has absolutely NOTHING to do with 'Troll'. In fact, this film has nothing to do with Trolls. I will not even attempt to go into plot- that is a mysterious and life altering endeavor that you will need to undertake for yourself. I will however tell you that this film has something to do with Goblins and the mysterious town of Nilbog...

Instead of rambling on, I believe a few delicious slices of video love will show you more than I ever could with mere words...

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

LE DERNIER CRI- ART PUNK VIDEO CONFRONTATION

If you have yet to witness the vicious and violent video splendor vomited forth by the twisted and sinister 'Le Dernier Cri' crew, you are truly missing out. This is some serious video Art- Violent, confrontational, stunning, and very dynamic. Behold the true Art Punk below...



This is powerful Anarchist visually Art damaged Punk at it's finest. Somehow, I think my Mother would not dig this...



If you are a lover of true underground Art, you really owe it to yourself to investigate 'Le Dernier Cri', it will make you a better and cooler person...

DEVIL ROBOTS- EVIL GOLD

I am not sure exactly what this is, I just know I rather enjoy watching it and after watching for 4 minutes, I feel strangely compelled to buy it...

Monday, May 21, 2007

Female Convict Scorpion- The Baddest Bitch

After witnessing the unparalleled badness of Meiko Kaji this weekend in 1972's 'Female Convict Scorpion: Jailhouse 41', I am firmly convinced that she is one of the toughest and coolest females ever to grace the silver screen. Many American film fanatics are unfortunately unenlightened as to grace and elegance with which Meiko Kaji can end the life of a deserving scumbag Yakuza. She is a silent and delicious killing machine- striking swiftly and efficiently, leaving men quivering or dead in a pool of their own blood. She is simply amazing. Even after wasting a room full of scum, she looks fantastic...




This is one of the most bad-ass films I have seen in a very long time. It is surreal, filled with nudity, extreme violence, delicious rape, gore, awesome music, and Arthouse style. Meiko Kaji utters maybe 5 words in the entire film, yet she is always captivating and mesmerizing. She could kill you with her glare.

There are three other 'Female Scorpion' films. 'Female Convict Scorpion: Jailhouse 41'(the second one in the series) has definately been my favorite thus far (I have yet to see 'Female Prisoner Scorpion: #701's Grudge Song')...

This fantastic series started out in 1972 with 'Female Prisoner #701: Scorpion'. This would be the ideal film to start with. Behold the badness in the trailer below...




You need to see these films immediately- they will make you a cooler person. Not only that; but by viewing these fantastic films, you will get to see one of Mr. Tarantino's favorite places to 'borrow' ideas from...

THE NEW DANCE SHOW!!!

I am so thankful that I was blessed enough to be born in Detroit and grow up in the surrounding area. It made me the person I am today. If you had the misfortune of not growing up near the 'D', you really missed out. Some of the best local television in the History of Man was produced in Detroit. A mind-blowing and mesmerizing display of this is 'The New Dance Show'. If you have never had the fortune of seeing this amazing show, prepare to have your mind-blown. I must warn you, what you are about to watch could very possibly blow your mind...



Such amazingly fresh booty-driven electro could only come from a place as dope as Detroit. That's what I grew up on. After school, there was no better sight than the uber-Fly brotha's and sista's of the 'D' shaking it in their finest threads recently purchased from Northland Mall...

Words cannot adequately describe the mesmerizing spell casted by 'The New Dance Show'. Just peep this freshness...



The late 80's and early 90's were a very special time in Detroit...

Deadbeat At Dawn

This weekend I took a trip back to the glorious late 80's. A wonderful time when MidWest Acid Fever was in full swing and a gritty low-budget Masterpiece was unleashed...



In 1988, the infamous Jim Van Bebber scrapped up $10,000, 10 rolls of 16 mm film, and a hodge-podge assortment of fiends and friends. The result? 'Deadbeat At Dawn', one of the best low-budget action epics of all times...

This film really takes me back to a time when everything was perfect; the delicious burn-out haze of ripped jeans, mullets, drugs, and knife fights. Jim Van Bebber is a true dynamo. He wrote, directed, and starred in this incredible, action-packed epic. He also put his body in peril in the name of Art, doing all of his own stunts. My two favorites are him jumping off of a roof and him being dragged behind a very fast car. 'Deadbeat At Dawn' is dirty, scuzzy, violent, and all-together awesome. You really need to re-visit this filthy and splendid time capsule. Check out this kick-ass 9-minute hunk of violent action and late 80's stoner bliss...

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

ITALIAN ZOMBIE FILM OF THE DAY...

We should all thank the fantastic Andrea Bianchi (who also brought us the sleazy 'Strip Nude For Your Killer'), for his undisputed masterpiece, 1981's 'Burial Ground' (also known as 'Nights of Terror'...

1981 was a very fruitful year for the fine purveyors of Italian Horror. Lucio Fulci released two fine films: his surreal classic, 'The Beyond'; and his slightly less awesome 'The House By The Cemetery'. Umberto Lenzi blessed up with his gore opus 'Cannibal Ferox'. Bruno Mattei released the seminal 'Porno Holocaust'...

All of the abovementioned films are fine examples of Italian Directors doing what they do best- entertaining us with sleazy, exploitative horror films. Most of these fine films will very likely be discussed in a future 'Italian Zombie Film Of The Day' entry. Today's slot belongs to the surreal and ludicrous 'Burial Ground'...

I firmly believe that a picture speaks much more than words can ever hope to. A gore-filled trailer speaks much more than a whole cavalcade of pictures ever could so please view the delicious slice of trailer love below...



This film is pure magic- every bit as awesome as the trailer would lead you to believe. There is so much I love about this wonderful film...

The insane soundtrack, the weird Boards of Canada style synth music, the vicious zombies, the gore, the terrible acting, the inappropriate reactions, zombies using tools, and most of all Peter Bark...



He has a very special relationship with his mother. The fact that Bianchi decided to use an obviously over 30 year old very small man to play a 12 yeard old child with a bizarre Oedipal crush was a masterful touch. And then to use an adult female emulating a 12 year old boy's voice and dubbing that in to use when Mr. Bark engaged in dialogue really took things to the next level...

Bottom line: If you have yet to witness the splendor that is 'Burial Ground', do so immediately. If you already have, you know how awesome this films is- Go watch it again!

I leave you with this...

CAN'T TRUSS IT!

The other day whilst working out, I inadvertently watched about 30 minutes of BET. Like MLK said on that episode of the Boondocks; "It was the worst thing I have ever seen in my entire life!" (If you have never watched the Boondocks, do yourself a favor and cop it- it is one of the more intelligent and hilarious television shows currently in existence)...

Seriously, after 30 minutes of BET, I think I acquired Brain Cancer. The videos I witnessed made me physically ill. There is no need to go into why, you all know. But anyways, it got me to thinking how far 'Hip Hop' has fallen. In fact, what is presented as 'Hip Hop' now, is simply 'Rap'- and 90% of it is utter garbage. It makes me sick...

I fondly remember the days when Artists (remember them?) made awesome videos that actually attempted to say something. I got to thinking about Public Enemy. They have fallen off quite abit, there is no denying that. However, between 1987 and 1991, PE was a force...



A vicious and intelligent machine that blessed our ears with bombastic sonics, funk, and intelligent rage. The Bomb Squad is responsible for some of the dopest soundtracking ever disseminated. These exquisite audio brain bombs were coupled with video images that remain indelible and powerful. Case in point, 'Can't Truss It'. MTV was afraid to play this video, but damn, it rules...




And how could anyone possibly argue with the message espoused by Chuck D, Ice Cube, and Big Daddy Kane in 'Burn, Hollywood Burn'. Let's give these some brothers some credit, this was 1991. Things have since gotten WAY worse. Check this excellent video out...



The more I think back, and listen to Hip Hop from what I consider to be the Golden Era (Approximately 1986-1995), the more I miss it. I realize that I probably sound like some cantankerous old coot, but I cannot help from feeling this way. I mean Jesus, remember N.W.A., self-professed 'World's Most Dangerous Group'?



I remember the first time I saw the video for 'Straight Outta Compton'... I was still a metal head/hardcore/punk maniac, but damn! this shit spoke to me. I mean watch this video and witness how fucking hardcore these brothers were...



Sure, the message ain't positive, but there is no way you could possibly front on the overpowering awesomeness that was the juggernaut of N.W.A...

I could go on and on, but I must get back to work and keep these punk muthafucka's in check!

This hot dog started talking to me...

... on Market Street!

Inspired by the Educational post from the inimitable Demonbabies that I stumbled across earlier today (you should check it out!), I suddenly remembered a delicious slice of 1960's psychedelic education (sponsored by the Lockheed Aircraft Corporation no less) residing on the magnificent Education Archives DVD (from Fantoma) that I lovingly own. Low and behold, this little gem was snugly nestled away in Youtube. If you have ever wondered why you should not partake in LSD, perhaps this mind-numbing slice of educational exploitation will show you why...


Tuesday, May 15, 2007

IT REALLY EXISTS!

Many people simply do not believe me when I tell them of the existence of the infamous short film, 'Gayniggers From Outer Space'.



Seriously, this has to be one of the best film titles of all time. Could the content possibly live up to such an awesome title? I believe it does. However, you should really watch it for yourself and decide...




simply amazing...

Now if you were moved by this incredible cinematic vision, feel free to visit the GNAA Corporate Homepage and join this fantastic organization...

DEATH DRUG!!!

Watch Philip Michael Thomas as he combs his hair whilst high on PCP and his hairbrush turns into an alligator!

A classic scene from the classic 1978 Angel Dust film, 'Death Drug' .



Frank Henenlotter- A True Genius and Visionary

There are many under known, under appreciated Geniuses that manage to create amazing works of Art for years, yet somehow fly below the radar. Today I would like to give the fascinating Frank Henenlotter such much deserved recognition...

The more I think about it, the more I love Frank Henenlotter. The man is an archiver, preserver, and collector of old exploitation and sexploitation classics. He has been in cahoots with the inimitable 'Something Weird Video' since the 80's and is responsible for unleashing such obscure gems as 'The Curious Dr. Humpp' and the 'Sexy Shockers From The Vault Series' on the unsuspecting insatiable trash-hound populous. However, his biggest contributions to the Universe will always be his amazing, one-of-a-kind films...

His first gift to the Cosmos was the delirious low-budget horror classic 'Basket Case', released in 1982.



This wonderful film is distributed by Something Weird and readily available. 'Basket Case' is a timeless tale of brotherly love and a hideously deformed, yet highly lovable mutant freak named Belial.



'Basket Case' was followed by two sequels that are both highly entertaining and amusing freakshows. However, Mr. Henenlotter claims that he made these for the money so that he would be able to finance his two masterpieces, 'Frankenhooker' and 'Brain Damage'. The original 'Basket Case' is definitely the place to start- This film is a perfect entry point to Mr. Henenlotter's fascinating oeuvre.

Following the exploits of Duane and Belial Bradley in 'Basket Case', Mr. Henenlotter was back in 1998 with what many consider to be his masterpiece, the twisted and tantalizing 'Brain Damage'. 'Brain Damage' serves as a classic, allegorical tale of dependence and substance abuse. It features one of cinema's finest creations: the charming, wise, and murderous Aylmer.

He sings, he kills, and he attaches himself to the back of your neck and injects you with an electro-chemical agent that makes you trip your nuts off. The only trade off is that Aylmer requires brains as his food source.


This is a fantastic and very well-done film. You really owe it to yourself to check it out...



Like a man possessed, Mr. Henenlotter returned with two fantastic films in 1990:
'Basket Case 2' and the incredible 'Frankenhooker'...



'Frankenhooker' is a classic tale of Sluts & Bolts. It's about true Love and Super Crack- an amazing scientific advancement in the world of crack cocaine. Be careful though, if Super Crack is smoked by you (and you are a hooker), you may explode!

I could go on and on about these fantastic films. However I am at work and I must actually do some work...

You must check out these amazing films as soon as possible. Thank you Frank Henenlotter!

PINKY VIOLENCE

If you are a lover of Exploitation or of delicious 1970's Japanese Grindhouse Trash of the highest caliber, you owe it to yourself to check out this amazing collection. I am at work right now, so pardon the brevity of this entry. I will go into scintillating detail later, for now check this out...

This is from 'Terrifying Girls' High School'





This is from the collection via 'Panik House'


Tuesday, May 8, 2007

The Avenging Disco Godfather

If you are unfamiliar with the antics and uberFreshness of the unparalleled Rudy Ray Moore, you really owe it to yourself to delve into his amazing ouvre. He is one of the true originators and kings of Blaxploitation. He is responsible for producing and starring in 4 incredible Blaxploitation epics. Moore entered the game with a resounding and explosive bang in 1975 with fantastic 'Dolemite'.



This would be the ideal place to start. If you have never witnessed 'Dolemite', you are a sucka and you really need to check yourself immediately.




Rudy Ray Moore knew he had a good thing, and the very next year (1976), he followed up 'Dolemite', with it's unofficial sequel, 'The Human Tornado'. Following this mind-shattering, brain-battering sequel, Ruby Ray Moore delved into the metaphysical with 'Petey Wheatstraw' (The Devil's Son In-Law). 'Petey Wheatstraw' is such an amazing work of art, that it warrants it's own entry and will be discussed in extreme detail at a later date.



The purpose of this entry is to discuss Rudy Ray Moore's most dusted and mind-melting cinematic adventure,'Disco Godfather', an amazing PCP-fueled epic that has yet to be equaled.

'The Avenging Disco Godfather' is a rather amazing film. The first time you watch it, you will find yourself transfixed and mesmerized, but unsure as to why. There are a number of reasons for this...

The lighting in this film is so completely inept and perplexing that it will blow your mind. I truly believe that all of the budget that was initially set aside for lighting was spent on PCP. This entire film appears to be lit with disco lights. There are some scenes that are so dark, all you can see is teeth. Occasionally people wander towards the back of the frame and disappear. You really have to see it to appreciate the amazingness, words cannot convey...

The Doctor. If your Doctor looks like this, you are in trouble. First off, he looks like a PCP dealer. The man is always wearing sunglasses. The scene in which he is in the SUPER dark hospital room with Bucky, he has his shades on. There is no logical reason for a man (let alone a doctor) to where sunglasses in a pitch black room. And further more, what possible reason would there be for keeping a hospital room as black as midnight? I think the main reason for this, is that everyone was on PCP, making things appear much brighter than they actually were...

The PCP Factory. The PCP factory that is apparently supplying most the world with PCP is a small room in an abandoned warehouse with no laboratory equipment. Sweetmeat (the head PCP distributor) rolls into his 'factory' and demands that 1500 gallons of PCP be produced. Huh? A lab of this size would have trouble producing an ounce of PCP in an afternoon. 1500 gallons? hahaha. Not only that, they were also supposed to dip 10,000 cigarettes in the PCP at the lab. That is 19 liquid ounces of PCP per cigarette!!! Wow! The Disco Godfather himself. Rudy Ray Moore is an incredible actor, with an even more incredible sense of fashion. Put your weight on it!!! His gift for delivering dialogue, being a pimp, a superStar DJ, and blowing a bunch of nose candy off of a Saturday Night Fever Album cannot be topped. In addition, his Kung-Fu stylings are not of this Earth...

The incredible PCP freak-outs. These are truly the work of a cinematic visionary. These scenes take you deep inside the mind of an individual in the midst of a deranged PCP freak-out. Very believable...The amazing ending of this film can truly not be described. I love how The Disco Godfather is captured, forced to wear a gas mask, and gassed with PCP. Following this, he has an amazing sequence of visions involving PCP archetypes, and his mother. Things then proceed to abruptly end. I think they must of run out of film...

The dialogue. The mistake-filled press conference is a sight to behold. Try and count the mistakes, I dare you. Attack the Wack!!!There are so many more examples of ineptitude and confusion that I could probably write a book if I were so inclined. However, duty calls and I must go out and Attack the Wack. Put your Weight on it!!!


Exploitation Films

This is my new spot wherest I will engage in the dissemination of reviews, comments, and diatribes regarding all manner of underknown exploitation, trash, art, exotic, foreign, and just plain crazy films. I was involved in something very similar whilst embroiled in Myspace. I however feel that this is a much better place to pursue my lust of the cinematically bizarre and deranged...